Christmas and New Year Quotes

CHRISTMAS ----------------
Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
- Oren Arnold

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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
- W. C. Fields

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From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
- Katharine Whitehorn

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Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times.
- Kate L. Bosher

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NEW YEAR -------------


The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
- P.J. O'Rourke

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Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
- Mark Twain

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People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
- Author Unknown

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But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits.
- Andre Gide

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I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
- Anais Nin
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May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!
- Joey Adams

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New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
- Mark Twain

Dugang Jokes

Niay dugang pakatawa gikan ni bai Marcio.
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Security: Excuse me po Lola, titingnan ko lang ang bag nyo kung may BARIL.
Matanda: Buang ka! …dili man gani maigo ang BALDI sa akong bag.. BARIL pa kaha?

Anak: Itay, ano po ba ang pagkakaiba ng COMPLETE at FINISHED?
Itay: Anak, kapag tama ang mapangasawa mo, then you're COMPLETE. Kapag mali naman, FINISHED ka na! Ha ha ha!

Anak: Tay, unsa man nang misa de gallo?
Tatay: Ah, kana gung mosayo kag mata, unya adto dayon sa simbahan aron matulog.. :'(

Juan: Kulang pliti nato, singko ra ni.
Pedro: Libat bitaw ng driver, mo dyis lagi na!
Juan: Pliti nong!
Driver: Oops kuwang ni!
Juan: Dyis baya na nong!
Driver: Upat baya mo!

Pahibalo: Ayaw mo ug tuo dayon sa mga text messages. Just keep track of the events in official news. Dili tinuod nga artista na ko. Ga hunahuna pa ko.

Buloy: Toy, unsa may diperencia sa CO2 ug H2O?
Bitoy: Sus Ginoo! Diin man diay ka pagtudlo ana nato sa high school? Kanang CO2 cold water, ang H2O hot water. BOGO!

Waiter: Unsay order nimo, Ma'am?
Ma'am: Fried chicken meal. Ikaw inday, unsay imo?
Maid: Sautéed pork boiled in thick essence of cane extracts with copious amounts of garlic, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of root crops and a helping of rice.
Ma'am: Dong, adobo with rice na iya.

Pare # 1: Bakit ang layo ng tingin mo? Anong problema?
Pare # 2: Nanaginip ako na napaligiran ako nga 50 ka contestants ng Miss Universe 2008!!
Pare # 1: Swerte mo pare, ano ang problema doon?
Pare # 2: Ako daw ang nanalo!!!

If you love someone, set him free. If he comes back, nakalimutan mo siyang bigyan ng pamasahe. If he doesn't, sundan mo, wala yung pamasahe pabalik!!

Melanisms of Ms. Melanie Marquez:

1. I won't stoop down to my level.
2. Bakit ang dami mong tanong? You're so questionable!
3. Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
4. I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.
5. Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay.
6. That's why I'm a success. I don't middle in other people's lives.
7. Englishin ko na. And to you Mrs. Dee, I have 2 words…ang labo mo!!!
8. You can fool me once, twice, even thrice but you can never me fool me four!


ISKO: Gubot kaayo akong kinabuhi.
PAENG: Ngano man?
ISKO: Tan-awa ra gud.. Naminyo ko sa byuda nga may anak dalaga. Gipakaslan pud ni tatay ang anak. Nanay na nuon nako ang dalaga, ug si tatay akong anak. Ang asawa nako, ugangan ni tatay, kung manganak sila, lolo ko sa akong igsoon. Waaahh!!! Gubota!!!

Extra Marital affairs..

The 1st Affair :

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside andrub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary.

We had sex all afternoon.""You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?

"The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

The 3th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening thefront door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder."Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 4th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and abottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.

"Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied,"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 5th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, yourbest friend, her best friend, and our neighbor!"

"I know, I know," she replied.. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Resiklo and pirated DVDs

I bought an 88-in-1 pirated DVD action movies from the Hausa peddler.

I thought i got a bargain for 350 naira. Later, when i loaded it in my laptop, i discovered there are 44 titles only. The other half are same movie in different languages (French and Russian).

Anyway, the copies are passable and so i watched, at least, 3 movies per night. After several nights, i am down to one movie left to see - Resiklo.

I thought it was a Russian war movie.

The intro of the movie was high-tech visual and looks like it was really 'foreign-made' movie.

To my surprise, it turned out to be a Filipino movie, starring Bong Revilla. Then i realized what the title means --- "Recycled''. Duh.

Well, i am not a big fan of Pinoy action movies. The last time i watched action movies was when Lito Lapid was in his prime.

Nevertheless, i gave Resiklo a 15 minutes viewing. After which, i thought pinoy movies never really progressed. Sure, the alien computer effects are passable, but the over all cinematography sucks.

I thought i was watching a TV show because the characters were doing 'blocking'. Looks like there's only one camera in the set. It's kind of annoying watching a movie and their is no change in the shots. Everybody has to make a sideways stance.

Hahay, the philippine movie quality has not really improved. Maybe they should look at some Thai films for ideas. I liked the Ong-bak series.

Anyway, i was amused that a pinoy movie made it to list of these Chinese-produced pirated DVDs. So far, it is only Chinese (mainland and HK), Thailand and South Korean movies that are included in the package. You can also buy an all Bollywood pirated DVDs.

I hope the chekwas will include movies of Lito Lapid, Dolphy and Ruffa Mae Quinto.

TO ALL FOLKS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1950's, 60' s, 70's and early 80's !!

Well, here is another e-mail from Bisdak (bisayang dako) friends... Assuming you are not bothered by your lineage, maybe you can relate on this.

I am not putting any English translation on the Cebuano words. Just ask your bisdak friends for translation.
===

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer (Cerveza Negra) while they carried us.

While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, ate Linunod, balikutsa, bukhayo and didn't worry about diabetes.

Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints (ang uban kay duyan nga habol gihigtan ug pisi nga inigtabyog ug kusog ma pakong intawon ta sa bongbong. )

We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang sa General Milling nga naa'y faded picture nga nag-salute), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, wala pa gyu'y break ang bisikleta.

As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (Bisaya Bus nga pultahan puros ang kilid, Corominas Bus nga senimana ang brake), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (karon kay Minibus na nga nindot kaayo ug sounds or Ceres Bus nga bugnaw ug aircon)

Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (karon, ang mga bata wala na kaila ug Kabaw)

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT bottled mineral water sa Nature Spring or Viva, or Absolute Mineral water (usahay gani, straight from the faucet or poso or Tabay!)

We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.

We ate rice with star margarine, bahaw nga gibutangan ug asin ug mantika sa baboy, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank sofdrinks with real sugar in it (dili diet coke or Pepsi Max), but we weren't sick or overweight kay......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Syatong, Bato-Lata, Bagol, Dakop-Dakop, Tago-Tago, Ngita'g Kaka.

No one was able to reach us all day (wala pa'y uso ang cellphone). And yes, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (katong bearing ang ligid) or Karitong Kawayan nga karaang tsinilas ang giporma nga ligid and then ride down the street, wala ma'y gidungog nga naligsan atoh! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ........ ... WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words.. sakit bai ? pero kung kontra gani nimo ang imong kadula, singgitan lang dayon ug.. Mayra, Gabaan!

We played marbles (jolen) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate Pan Bahug-bahug & Bagumbayan (recycled bread man diay to kay wala mahalin!) We were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.

We had to live with homemade guns (giporma nga kahoy, gihigtan ug garter ug lastiko) , saplong , tirador ug uban pa nga pwedeng magkasakitay. Pero lingaw gihapon kaayo ang tanan.

We made up games with sticks (syatong ), and cans (Bato-Lata) and although we were told they were dangerous, wala man gyud to'y actual nga nabuta bah, bukol lang nuon sa agtang naa.

We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or batoon ug gagmay nga bato ang bungbong, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala pa nang mga childhood depression ug damaged self esteem ek-ek ra na. Ang maglagot, pildi.

Ang mga Ginikanan naa ra sa daplin para motan-aw ra sa duwa sa mga bata, dili para manghilabot ug makig-away sa ubang parents.

That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.
You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were lucky indeed.

And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.

It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!

25 Ways To Improve Your Health

And then again, this is the nth time i received this cutesy pets. I guess, i shoudl share this for those pet-lovers who did not receive this.

It took me awhile to figure out how to make the photos appear without me downleading and uploading each photos.

:-D
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1. Brush twice a day!


2. Dress right for the weather.


3. Visit the dentist regularly.


4. Get plenty of rest.


5. Make sure your hair is dry before going outside.


6. Eat right.


7. Get outside in the sun every once in a while.


8. Always wear a seatbelt.


9. Control your drinking of alcoholic beverages.



10. Smile! It will make you feel better.



11. Don't over indulge yourself.



12. Bathe regularly.



13. Read to exercise the brain.



14. Surround yourself with friends.



15. Stay away from too much caffeine.



16. Use the bathroom regularly.



17. Get plenty of exercise.


18. Have ! your eyes checked regularly.


19. Eat plenty of vegetables.


20. Believe that people will like you for who you are.


21. Forgive and forget.


22. Take plenty of vacations.


23. Celebrate all special occasions.


24. Pick up a hobby.


25. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Philippines: from a Korean's perspective

This is from my Yahoo inbox again. I can't remember how many times i'd receive this article in my email.

Truth be told, i am tired of thise kind of exhortation. Numb already. But then again, truth hurts. And this one is just another reminder to us Filipinos to 'really' do something to reverse the descent towards corrupt governance and decaying society.

So i decided to post this for everyone to read, instead of spamming my friends with another forward-to-all.

Trivia:

Korea is now the Philippines’ second largest tourist market with 34,154 tourist arrivals during the first four months of this year next to the United States, overtaking Japan, which is now on the third slot.

Source: Korea Times

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As you know, we have plenty of Koreans currently studying in the Philippines to take advantage of our cheaper tuition fees and learn English at the same time.

This is an essay written by a Korean student i want to share with you. (Never mind the grammar; it's the CONTENT that counts) Maybe it is timely to think about this in the midst of all the confusion at present.

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MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES

(Jaeyoun Kim)

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines . Do you really think that corruption is the big problem in the Philippines ? I don't think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines .

Let me first talk about my country, Korea . It might help you understand my point.

After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest country in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines , for Filipinos were very rich in Asia . We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos.. Many Koreans died of famine. My father & brother also died because of famine.

Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism.

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea . He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investor because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park . They asked to him, "President, when can we be well off?" That was the only question everyone asked to him.

President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea , and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea . So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea . He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off.

Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea . They always hoped that their children would live in well off country.

My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my neighborhood.

Have you cried for the Philippines ? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country.

They go to mass and work for Church. They pray everyday. However, they do not love the Philippines . I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines .

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.

When I was in Korea , I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines , I completely lost my faith.

I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines . Street kids always make me sad, and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia , but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there are somany beggars and street kids. When we went to Pagsanjan Falls , I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun. However, they were not happy after taking a boat.

They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it.

But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them. My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action.

She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God, so that the Philippines will be well off.

I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start in everybody, in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and relationships. It changes the world. Please love your neighborhood and country.

Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do unto Him. In the Philippines , there is God for people who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love.

If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines . Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country.

You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

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Do not blame poverty on political leaders. Leaders are nothing for without the help & cooperation of their countrymen. I hope this essay brings forth changes in our perspective in life especially with the way we see our future in this country, the Philippines!

Stand up & be proud Filipinos!

Mga Batang Basurero

This story came across my e-mail. Normally, whenever the title says something like 'read this' or 'this is interesting', I would immediately delete it from my inbox without opening it.

But since this came from my schoolmate, Jeanette who's now in Thailand, i decided to give it a peek..

Hmm, ok, so this is somebody's first-person account, but like Jeanette, i was also moved by the story and so allow me to post this one for all Bisaya to read and ponder....

Akong gibutangan ug translation ang mga bisaya conversation para kasabot sad mga dili bisaya.


-mlf
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(Author Unknown)

Ever since it was diagnosed that I am having a possible heart enlargement in the last APE, I have exerted more effort to do physical exercises. I do jogging during week days and do long-ride mountain biking every Sunday.

But this Sunday is a special Sunday to me. While I was on my way to the mountains of Busay hoping to strengtened my heart by this exercise, instead, I personally encountered a heart-breaking scene that changed me.

I already passed the Marco Polo Plaza ( formerly Cebu Plaza Hotel) when I decided to stop to buy bananas at a small carenderia located along the road. I haven't taken any solid food that morning so I need fruits to have the needed energy to get to my destination -the mountain top. I was almost done eating with the second banana when I noticed two children across the street busily searching the garbage area.

"Basureros" (garbage urchins) I said to myselt and quickly turn my attention away from them to sip a small amount of water. I cared less for these kind of children actually; to make it straight, I do not like them, and I do not trust them evenmore. You see, several times I have been a victim to these kind of children who are pretending to be basureros looking for empty bottles and cans when in fact the 'plangganas' (basins), 'kalderos' (pots), and 'hinayhays' (hanging laundry) are their favorites.

I remember one afternoon while I was watching a Mike Tyson fight when I noticed that the TV screen suddenly became blurred. I checked outside and saw two young basureros running away with my newly installed antenna.

Hatred may be a little bit stronger word to describe my feeling towards these basureros, but I do not like them honestly ? not till I met these three children.

I was about to embark on my bike again when I heard one of the two children, a girl of about 7 or 8 of age saying aloud to the other, a 12-yr old boy , " kuya, si dodong kuha-a kay nag-sige'g tan-aw sa mga nagkaon, mauwaw ta" (Big brother, please get Dodong away from the diners' window, it's embarassing them), only then that I noticed a small boy standing near to me biting slightly his finger. He's a few inches shorter if compared to my 5 years old son ( but I knew later that he's also 5 yrs. Old). Though he did not asked for food to anyone in the carenderia, the way he looked at the customers who were eating, enough to convinced me that he intensely craving for it. The older boy then quickly crossed the street and gently pulled out the little one who politely obeyed. As I watched the two crossing back the street to the garbage area, I heard the tindera saying " Lo-oy kaayo nang mga bataa uy, mga buotan ra ba na". (I pity them. They are good kids)

I learned further from the carenderia owner that the children are from a good family , both parents were working before , and that their father got a stroke 3 years ago and became partially paralized and their mother died of heart attack while their father was still confined at the hospital.

The parents were still in their early forties when the catastrophe happened , and the children became basureros since then to meet their daily needs and for their father's medication.

Deeply moved by what I heard, I went to a nearby bakery and bought 20 pesos worth of bread and gave it to the children who initially refused including the little boy. " Sige lang noy, salamat na lang, magpalit lang nya mi kung mahalinan na mi" (It's ok sir, thanks. we will buy later when we sell something) the young girl said to me. I explained that they need to go home because it started to rain . "Naanad na man mi ani " (we are used to this) the girl answered again.

Again, I explained that the rain can make them sick and if they'll become sick there's no one to take care of their father. Upon mentioning their father, they nodded and acccept the bread but I noticed that the older boy did not ate.

When I asked him if he does not like the kind of bread I bought for them he smiled but as he's about to explain, the little girl, who is the more talker of them interrupted, " Domingo man gud ron ,noy, basta Sabado ug Domingo hapon ra siya mokaon kami ra ang mokaon ug pamahaw pero dili na pod mi mokaon inig hapon, si kuya ra. Pero basta Lunes ngadto sa Biyernes, kay klase man , si kuya ra sad ang seguro-on ug papamahaw, kami hapon na sad mi moka-on " Pero kung daghan mi ug halin mokaon mi tanan." she continued.
(Today is Sunday, sir. During Saturday and Sunday, my older brother will eat in the afternoon only and we will be the ones eating breakfast, and in the afternoon, we will not eat, because it is his turn. But from Monday to Friday, we make sure our elder brother gets to eat breakfast because he needs to go to school. The rest of us will eat in the afternoon. But if we have enough money, we can eat together.) .

"Ngano man diay ug mokaon mong tanan, bahinon ninyo bisan ug unsa ka gamay?" I countered.
(So why not just share the food and eat together?)

The young girl reasoned out that their father wanted that her older brother to come to school with full stomachs so he can easily catch up the teacher's lessons. "Inig ka trabaho ni kuya mo undang na man mi ug pamasura , first honor baya na siya. " the little boy added proudly.
(When our elder brother (finish school and) gets a job, we can stop collecting garbage. He is first honor in his class.)

Maybe I was caught by surprise or I am just overly emotional that my tears started to fall. I then quickly turned my back from them to hide my tears and pretended to pick up my bike from the carenderia where I left it.

I don't know how many seconds or minutes I spent just to compose myself; pretending again this time that I was mending by bike.

Finally I get on to my bike and approached the three children to bid goobye to them who in turn cast their grateful smiles at me. I then took a good look at all of them specially to the small boy and pat his head with a pinch in my heart. Though I believe that their positive look at life can easily change their present situation, there is one thing that they can never change; that is , their being motherless. That little boy can no longer taste the sweet embrace, care, and most of al , the love of his mother forever.

Nobody can refill the empty gap created by that sudden and untimely death of their mother. Every big events that will happen to their lives will only remind them and make them wish of their mother's presence.

I reached to my pocket and handed to them my last 100 peso bill which I reserved for our department's bowling tournament. This time they refused strongly but I jokingly said to the girl "sumbagon teka ron kung di nimo dawaton" (accept this money or i will punch you). She smiled as she extended her hand to take the money.

"Salamat, 'noy. makapalit gyud me ron ug tambal ni papa " (Thank you, sir. Now we can buy papa's medicine), she uttered. I then turned to the small boy and though he's a few feet away from me, I still noticed that while his right hand was holding the half - filled sack, his left hand was holding a toy ? a worn out toy car. I waved my hands and said bye bye to him as I drove towards the mountains again. Did he just found the toy in the garbage area ? or the toy was originally his - when the misfortune did not took place yet? -I did not bother to ask. But one thing is crystal clear to me ? that inspite of the boy's abnormal life, he did not given up his childhood completely. I can sense it that way he hold and stare at his toy.

My meeting with that young basureros made me poorer by 100 pesos. But they changed me and made me more richer as to lessons of life are concerned.

In them, I learned that life can changed suddenly and may caught me flat footed. In them, I've learned that even the darkest side of life, cannot change the beauty of one's heart. Those three children, who sometimes cannot eat three times a day, still able to hold on to what they believe was right.

And what a contrast to most of us who are quick to point out to our misfortunes when caught with our mistakes. In them, I've learned to hope for things when things seem to go the other way.

Lastly, I know that God cares for them far more than I do. That though He allowed them to experience such a terrible life which our finite minds cannot comprehend, His unquestionable love will surely follow them through.

And in God's own time they will win.

(Author unknown)
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The advantage of using keyboard shortcuts

I am an avid Windows user, from Windows 3.2, W for Workgroup, to Windows 95, NT, 98, 2000, ME, and XP. I haven’t used Vista extensively but i configured some Vista for my friends.

Before MS Office, we were using Wordstar and Lotus 1-2-3. Then WYSIWYG came and we switched to Ami Pro and Quattro Pro.

Later, a computer vendor gave us ’sample’ copy of MS Word and MS Excel. The die-hard (or the oldies) among us, refused to give up Wordstar and Lotus/Quattro. Until Office 95 came. And the discovery that Word or Excel almost have the same keyboard shortcuts as the jurassic warez.

One thing i like with MS products are the keyboard shortcuts. I have become so adept with the keyboard that my mouse would be very seldom used, except when i am browsing the net.

Why is this? There was a time when we are supposed to conduct a presentation for clients. I created the Powerpoint application. We were then using a desktop PC. Since the presentation is at another venue, we have to bring along our PC. (If we just put it in a disk, there is a big chance that the fonts used in my presentation will not be on their PC, or the MS Office version might not be the same as ours, or worst, their is no MS Office in the venue). After assembling the PC in our table, i switched ON the PC. To my horror, the mouse is not responding. As in the PC has no mouse function. Well, we finished the presentation despite the mouse scare. I have to navigate MS Office using just the keyboard shortcuts.

Also, I find it cumbersome to use the mouse in copying, pasting, or higlighting words. When i am typing and words are racing in my mind, I do not like juggling my fingers between keyboard and my thoughts get interrupted by having to move my my hand outside of the keyboard for the mouse. Even in my laptop. i seldom use the touchpad for navigation.

Even when i am conducting training or tutorial, i would emphasize the use of common shortcuts, especially in Windows and MS Office environment.

Of course, when writing this blog, i have to use the mouse to scroll up and down. I am typing directly into the wordpress editing window.

In all Windows applications, the menu can always be opened by pressing Alt plus the underlined letter of the menu name. For example, in Word document, you want to open Macro from the Tools menu. You can press Alt+T (Tools). This will open the Tools menu. You can then either scroll down to Macro, or you can press M (Macro). In other words, you can go to Macro sub-menu without using the mouse, but by just pressing Alt+T+M. Keyboard shortcuts are also very useful in Excel.

Applications like Photoshop, Corel, Flash and other graphics programs are mouse-intensive. But knowing shortcuts on copy, cut, paste and save can sure speed up the wok and save time.

Really, it depends on the user. And it depends on the application or program you are using. This keyboard shorcut works well in Word and Excel. Seldom in graphics and multimedia applications.

But knowing a little or two shortcuts can surely save you from embarassment or from deadline.

Here is a list of keyboard shortcuts which i found from Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_of_keyboard_shortcuts

Here is a list of MS Office shortcuts:

Microsoft Office Shortcut Keys


Shortcut Keys Description

Ctrl + A Select all contents of the page.

Ctrl + B Bold highlighted selection.

Ctrl + C Copy selected text.

Shift + Insert or
Ctrl + V Paste.

Ctrl + D Open the font dialogue box.

Ctrl + E Aligns the line or selected text to the center of the screen.

Ctrl + F Open find box.

Ctrl + G Open find and replace box.

Ctrl + H Also opens find and replace box.

Ctrl + I Italicise highlighted selection.

Ctrl + J Justify (spread) the text across the page.

Ctrl + K Insert link.

Ctrl + L Aligns the line or selected text to the left of the screen.

Ctrl + M Indent the paragraph.

Ctrl + N Open a new document.

Ctrl + O Open a document stored on your hard drive.

Ctrl + P Open the print window.

Ctrl + R Aligns the line or selected text to the right of the screen.

Ctrl + S Saves the current document.

Ctrl + U Underline highlighted selection.

Ctrl + V Paste contents of clipboard.

Ctrl + W Closes the current document.

Ctrl + X Cut selected text.

Ctrl + Y Redo the last action performed.

Ctrl + Z Undo last action.

Ctrl + Shift + F Change the font.

Ctrl + Shift + > Increase selected font +1pts up to 12pt and then increases font +2pts.

Ctrl + ] Increase selected font +1pts.

Ctrl + Shift + <>Moves one word to the left.

Ctrl + Moves one word to the right.

Ctrl + Moves to the beginning of the line or paragraph.

Ctrl + Moves to the end of the paragraph.

Ctrl + Del Deletes word to right of cursor.

Ctrl + Backspace Deletes word to left of cursor.

Ctrl + End Moves the cursor to the end of the document.

Ctrl + Home Moves the cursor to the beginning of the document.

Ctrl + Spacebar Reset highlighted text to the default font.

Ctrl + 1 Single-space lines.

Ctrl + 2 Double-space lines.

Ctrl + 5 1.5-line spacing.

Ctrl + Alt + 1 Changes text to heading 1.

Ctrl + Alt + 2 Changes text to heading 2.

Ctrl + Alt + 3 Changes text to heading 3.

Ctrl + F1 Open the Task Pane.

F1 Open Help.

Alt + Ctrl + F2 Open new document.

Ctrl + F2 Display the print preview.

Shift + F3 Change the text from upper to lower case or a capital letter at the beginning of every word.

F4 Repeat the last action performed.

F5 Open the find, replace, and go to window in Microsoft Word.

Ctrl + Shift + F6 Opens to another open Microsoft Word document.

F7 Spell and grammar check selected text and/or document.

Shift + F7 Runs a Thesaurus check on the word highlighted.

F12 Save as.

Shift + F12 Save.

Ctrl + Shift + F12 Prints the document.

Alt + Shift + D Insert the current date.

Alt + Shift + T Insert the current time.





These shortcuts are common thru-out the MS Office and Windows desktop environment.

For Desktop shortcuts:

Ctrl + Esc Opens the Start Menu
Shift + Del Deletes a selected file without going to Recycle Bin
Alt + F4 Closes the present window
Alt + Tab Toggles or switches between all open windows
Remember, combination keys means you have to press each key in succession without releasing previous keys.

For example, if you want the Task Manager to show, you have to press Ctrl+Alt+Del. that is, press Ctrl and hold, press Alt and hold (now you are pressing two keys), then press Del. After Task Manager opens, you can release all the keys. Walla!

So there, explore your keyboard shortcuts.

O-key?

Adopt a Healthy Lifestyle

This information's been coming and going from my Yahoo e-mail inboxes, so i decided to copy-paste this here, so more folks can read about this health info.

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BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS


1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level.
This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain dam aging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain



-------------------------------

The main causes of liver damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.

2. Not urinating in the morning.

3. Too much eating.

4. Skipping breakfast.

5. Consuming too much medication.

6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener.

7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which! include s even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.

8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.
Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store.

We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to 'schedule.'


DO TAKE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.................

Mga Bisaya nga Jokes

Mga binisaya nga jokes akong napunitan sa Internet. Wa baya ko nanngangkon ani ha. Para ni sa tanan.

katawa sad diha.
---------

Sa Pare

Bisaya1: nindonta sa awto, siguro sa mayor na.
Bisaya2: dili bay sa hepe siguro na.
Bisaya3: tonto jud mo! kang father na, tan-awa gisulat na gani sa likod o! SAFARI!!!
---------
Apelyido . . .

Pari: Unsa gani imong apelyido sister?
Madre: Imo baya nang hagkan kada adlaw father.
Pari: Ha! bisong imong apelyido sister?
Madre: Sus maryosep! Cruz father oy..
---------
Pilay anak

Nurse: pila imo anak nang?
Patient: 15 kabuok mam.
Nurse: sus, ginoo daghana gud! wa ka mogamit ug pills, condom ug uban pa jud?
Patient: krus my heart, wa koy lain gigamit Oh ten ra jud!…
---------
PANGIT

Eloy: Pre, sa imong banabana, guwapo ba ko?
Andoy: Pangit ka ug nawong, Pre.
Eloy: Pagtarong diha, Pre, ha! Unsa’y pangit?!
Andoy: Imong nawong, pangitaon kaayo ba!!!
---------
AMERIKANA

Juan: Bay Pedro, pananglitan kung ikaw ug usa ka amerikana nasaag sa lasang. Unya diha’y mga igorot nga nagukod ninyo. Sa daplin sa sapa, nakakita ka ug sakayan. Pero, usa ra ka pasahero ang masulod aning sakayana..

Unsa ma’y buhaton nimo?

Pedro: Aw, biyaan na lang nakong amerikana, Bay. Bahala na’g unsa kagwapa nang Amerikanaha na. Luwason nako akong kaugalingon. Ikaw, Bay unsa may buhaton nimo?

Juan: Bugo ka man diay, Bay. Akong isul-ob ang amerikana una ko mosakay sa sakayan.
---------
LAYO ANG MANILA

Bata: Tay, hai may mas layo?ang buwan o ang Manila?
Amahan: Layo ang Manila, Dong.
Bata: Layo ang buwan, Tay, uy.
Amahan: Kung layo pa ang buwan, nganong makakita ka man sa buwan? Unya kita ka sa Manila?
---------
WALAY SALA

Inahan: Mangumpisal ta rong Dominggo ha aron pasayloon ta sa Ginoo sa atong mga sala.

Anak: Nay, unsa may buot ipasabot anang bata nga makasala.

Inahan: Panaglitan, kung ang bata dili motahod sa ginikanan, mao na’y bata nga makasala.

Anak: Wala ko’y sala, Nay, kay nitahod man ko sa sugo ni Tatay sa pagpangawat og manok sa atong silingan.
---------
BAYOT

Amahan: Wala ka’y uwaw nga pagka-anak. Nakit-an ka sa atong silingan nga nisulod ug gay bar. Bayot ka! Bayot

ka! Imong gipakaulawan ang atong pamilya. Maayo pa’y molayas ka aron dili ako makonsomisyon nga ako duna’y anak nga bayot!

Anak: Saba diha, Tay, uy. Mora sag dili ka bayot!!!
---------

Muslim: Palit naka mo sa perfume nga snow white and seven dwarfs, humot kaayo.
Kustomer: Pre! baho man lagi ning usa ka garapa,
Muslim: Ooooy! namatay man god ang usa ka dwarf.

Muslim: Palit na kamo sa sing-sing nga pure gold, bisan pag itunlob sa suka dili gyod molobad.
Kustomer: Ha ba diha ka pre, ming lubad man lagi ning sing-sing human ug tunlog sa suka.
Muslim: Tungod kay dili man god pure ang suka.
---------
Insik, Kano ug Pinoy

Intsik - “sa amo sa Tsina, usa ka sakong harina isulod sa dakong pugon, pagula dagkong pan ug kuwarta na”

Amerikano - “sa amo sa Amerika, usa ka dakong baka isulod sa dakong makinarya, pagula ang bukog butones na, ug ang unod de lata na”

Pinoy - “sa amo sa Pinas, pagsulod soreso, pagula tawo”
---
Barberong Pinoy

Usa ka barberong Pinoy nga bag-ong salta sa Amireyka dili pa kaayo maka mao nga mo-iningles. Human niyag alot sa kustomer nga nakatulog, nakalimot siya unsa-on sa pagingon ang nahuman na. Sa kalit nakahinumdom siya nga kon mahuman ang sine, sa katapusan sa pelilkula duna’y “The End”. Samtang nagba-id siya sa labaha iyang gipukaw ang Kanu ug miingon, “Joe, this is your the end.”
---------
Pinoy Paks Masin

Pinoy sakay sa eroplano para mag tour sa Europe may kaabay siya nga duha ka Asian, Hapon ug Insik. Sa ilang biyahe nagkaila silang tulo, naghisgot sila sa mga bag-ong teknolohiya nga gikan sa ilang nasod.

Matod pas Japon - “kining akong ball pen camera ni”,

Ingon sab ang Insik - “kini sab ako sing-sing alarm watch ni,

Sus, kay ang Pinoy na-atol man sab nga nagda-ut iyang tiyan ug nangutot ug may turbo sound pa gyod

[purrrrorrrrrot].

Nakurat Japon ug Insik ug nagdungan pag-ingon - “unsa man ron?”
Tubag pas Pinoy - “mao toy bag-ong teknolohiya nga bag-ong produkto sa Pilipinas ang paks masin na-a sa sulod sa human body.”
---------
Kinsay Da Bes Nga Mabana!

Upat ka dalagang Pinay nurses naghinambugay kon kinsay ilang pamanhon.
Nurse 1: Ako ang akong gustong mabana ENGINEER.
Nurse 2: Nganong ENGINEER man?
Nurse 1: Tungod kay ang ENGINEER, sige lang erect ug erect!
Nurse 2: Bitaw no!…. Ako ang akong gusto ACCOUNTANT.
Nurse 3: Nganong ACCOUNTANT man?
Nurse 2: Tungod kay ang ACCOUNTANT, sige lang enter ug enter!
Nurse 3: Mau ba?… Ako ang akong gusto nga mabana DOKTOR gyod.
Nurse 4: Ngano man bi, nga DOKTOR man gyod?
Nurse 3: Tungod kay ang DOKTOR, sige lang inject ug inject!
Nurse 4: Wow, puro man big shot ang inyong gusto. Ako, simple lang.
Nurse 1: Oh kinsa may imong pamanahon bi?
Nurse 4: Gusto kog kanang pure nga BISAYA.
Nurse 2: Ngano man?
Nurse 4: Tungod kay ang BISAYA, gahi ug DILA!
---------

Si Juan nag ampo nga taga-an og senina ni Hesus !! Sige siya og ampo nga tagaan sya og senina ni jesus. Way lain niyang ampo nga tagaan ra gyud sya og senina ni jesus.
Sa ikatolo ka adlaw nag ampo sa sad siya !!

Mitobag si jesus, "saba diha, juan. Nag tapis ra gani ko, mangayo ka na hinuon og senina".

------------------

Asawa 1 - akong bana Engineer, sus makalagot sigi lang erect ug erect.
Asawa 2 - akong bana Doctor, maglagot pod ko kay sigi lang inject ug inject.
Asawa 3 - akong bana Attorney, sus makalagot jud sa tanan kay sigi lang postpone ug postpone.

bana: gang, naka-save ko ug 6.00 karon kay ako na man gigukod ang jeep, wala man ko mu sakay
asawa: bogo! taxi unta imung gigukod aron mas dako imong na-save

Doc: Ma'am, naa kay breast cancer.
Ma'am: ha? tinuod ka doc? dili man ko katuo sa imong gisulti! i'm healthy! naa pa ka second opinion?
Doc: Bati pa jud kag nawong!

ATTY: asa ka pagkahitabo sa rape?
JUN: sa kamaisan
ATTY: nag-unsa ka didto?
JUN: nalibang!
ATTY: pila ka kadupa gikan sa krimen?
JUN: naa bay malibang magdupa-dupa?…. Ayaw pagbugal-bugal 'torni uy!

babae: nong! sakay ko!
driver: cge! asa man ka?
babae: diha lang sa kanto! naay bayad ang bata?
driver: ay libre lang kay duol man.
babae: ah, ang mosabak naay bayad?
driver: wala gihapon!
babae: cge nak! sabaka ko...

BF: ga, naa koy dago nga problema.
GF: ga, ayaw pag sulti ana oi. Ayaw ingna nga problema lang NIMO. Ingna nga problema NATO kay nag hinigugmaay man ta. Dawbi, unsa man ATONG problema?
BF: namabdosan NATO si inday ug KITA ang amahan..

Customer: Day, kape.
Tindera: Tag P10 na ra ba.
Customer: Diba tag P8 ra na?
Tindera: Nimahal naman gud ang gasolina.
Customer: Ah, ayaw na lang butangig gasolina!

AMO: inday gipatotoy na nimo ang bata?
Maid: Yes mam! gipatotoy na.
Amo: Ang sir nimo ningkaon na?
Maid: Naah! mam, dili man mukaon si sir, gipatotoy na lng pud nako.

BISAYA: Pabili nga ng lemoncito.
TINDERA: Anong lemoncito?
BISAYA: Lemoncito gud.. yong maliit na buongon!
--
TEACHER: give me a tag question.
PUPIL: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?
TEACHER: Very good! Ibinisaya dong.
PUPIL: Ang akong maestra gwapa, wa sya kuyapi?
---
Maestra: Kinsa ninyo ang gusto moadto sa langit? (Miisa sa kamot ang tanan gawas ni Pedro.)
Maestra: Pedro, di diay ka ganahan moadto sa langit?
Pedro: Pasayohon man god kog uli ni Nanay, Ma’am!
---
Maestra: Palihog barog kadtong mga bugo.
(Human sa usa ka minutos, mibarog si Juan.)
Maestra: Juan, midawat diay ka nga bugo ka?
Juan: Aw, gikuyogan ta lang ka Ma’am. Ikaw ra man gong usa ang gabarog.
---
Bungi: Sir, moaplay ko pagkasundalo.
Officer: Di ka puyde kay daghan kang ngipon nga nangapangag na.
Bungi: Ngano diay Sir, pinaakay na diay ang gubat ron?
----
Way labotay ug mama

Pari ug sakristan naghinambogay…

Sakristan: Unsa man, Dre… Abtik man gyod kaha ka sa tsiks, padaghanay ta. Inigsulod sa tsiks, motakla ta kon atong naiy***n.
Pari: Sige.

May misulod nga babaye. Mitakla ang sakristan, mitakla pod ang pari. Unya may lain na pod, mitakla ang pari,

mitakla pod ang sakristan. May hamtong nga babaye nga misulod. Mitakla ang pari, apan wa ka katakla ang sakristan.
Sakristan: Aaaa, way labotay ug mama Dre!
---
Mibagting hinuon ang tanan
Problema sa seminaryo ang balita nga dunay usa sa ilang mga seminarista ang nangabang og burikat sa Junquera.

Maong mihimog imbestigasyon ang kadagkoan. Ilang gisab-itan og kampanang gamay ang tintin sa matag parionon.

Dayon ilang gipasayaw-sayaw sa atubangan ang usa ka burikat nga naghubo.

May mibagting. Ila dayong gidakop ang maong parionon ug gipaadto sa atubangan. Aron kini maleksiyon, ilang gipahubo.

Mibagting ang tanan!
----
Kandila

Usa ka madre nagpatsek-ap sa klinika. Pero nasayop ang laboratoryo kay nailisan ang iyang ihi sa specimen sa babaye nga mabdos.
Doctor: Sister, ang resulta sa imong test miingon nga mabdos ka.
Madre: Doctor, makamabdos diay nang kandila?
----
Eksersays sa mga madre

Matag buntag mag-eksersays ang mga madre libot sa ilang compound. Ang paagi sa ilang pag-eksersays mao ang pagbisikleta. Apan kay lagi mga madre, ginadili alang kanila ang pagsaba.

Usa ka adlaw, nag-eksersays na sab ang mga madre kuyog ang ilang superyora. Nagbisikleta silang tanan. Pag-agi nila sa usa ka gamayng hump sa dalan, naniyagit ang mga madre, “Aaaaayyyyy!!!” ug nang-agik-ik. Napungot ang ilang madre superyora kay ginadili alang sa mga madre ang pagsaba-saba. Mibadlong siya, “Mga sisters, palihog ayaw kamo pagsaba kay makawala kana sa dignidad sa atong pagkamadre!” Ug nanghilom ang mga madre.

Nagpadayon silag tindak sa ilang mga bisikleta. Sa unahan, nakaagi na sab silag hump. Ang maong hump mas dako-dako kay sa ilang naagian ganina. Pag-agi nila sa hump naniyagit na sab ang mga madre, “Aaaaayyyy!!!” ug nang-agik-ik. Gipaningot silang tanan. Napungot na sab ang ilang madre superyora ug mibadlong, “Mga sisters, palihog intawon ayaw kamo pagsiyagit-siyagit kay mga madre kita! Abi pa lang unya mga mahilayon kitang mga madre!” Ug nanghilom ang mga madre.

Padayon gihapon ang mga madre sa ilang pag-eksersays. Pag-abot sa unahan, dihay dako gyod kaayo nga hump. Nakabantay ang madre superyora sa dako nga hump ug nahadlok nga basin maniyagit na sab ang iyang mga kaubang madre.

Busa, mibadlong siya daan sa iyang mga kauban, “Mga sisters, adunay dako kaayong hump sa unahan. Kon inig agi nato nianang hump maniyagit pa gani mo, ako na gyod nang pabutangan og lingkoranan ang inyong mga bisikleta.”

---
Kahibawo na ka?

Samtang naglakaw si Canuto sa Colon kuyog sa iyang pangasaw-onon, sa wa lang damha nakit-an siya sa iyang karaang uyab. Milingiw unta siya apan…

Bidat: Uy, Canuts, mosta?

Canuto: (Molikay unta apan, nahawiran sa iyang ex-gf). Awww, kuan diay ila-ila mo. Si Biday, akong pangasaw-onon.

Bidat: Pangasaw-onon? Unya kahibawo na siya… Nga adtong otso anyos na-diagnose ka nga dunay allergic rhinitis, gani miburot ang imong sip-on atubangan sa akong Papa… Nga human nato og gradwar sa hayskul na-diagnose ka nga duna kay overactive bladder, gani nakaihi ka atubangan sa atong silingang doktor. Nga sa dihang nagtrabaho na ka, na-diagnose na pod ka nga asthmatic, gani gitabang man ka kay naglisod ka og ginhawa atubangan sa inyong company surgeon. Nga duha ka semana human ta magsabot nga magminyo na ta, na-diagnose na pod ka nga hypertensive ka, gani mi-collapse ka man sa dihang mibisita ta sa klinika.

Biday: (Misagbat kay wa na makaantos) Kahibawo na man ko ana tanan, mao nga mas nagkinahanglan siya sa akong pag-atiman ug mas pa nako siyang gihigugma.

Bidat: Aw, mao ba? Pero kahibawo ka ba nga niadto tanang panahona, kon di pa lang unta siya talawan, natuli na unta siya?

Biday: (Misinta ang tingog) Ay nganong wa man ka magpahibawo nako pisota ka!

UEFA and the Filipino Premier League

Man United 1 Chelsea 1 - United win 6-5 on penalties after extra-time.

Africa and half of Europe held their breath last night during the finals of the UEFA Champions League held in Moscow. It was an-all English football club finals between Manchester United and perrenial rival Chelsea.

Just like in our country during a Manny Pacquiao fight, i am sure that UK and Africa experienced a no-crime night last night.

It is just too bad that our DSTV subscription was finished last Sunday and we were not able to pay in time to watch last night's game. So i have to stay online until 12 midnight reading the blow-by-blow accounts of the match.

Being a filipino, i grew up with basketball. But because i am vertically-challenged, i have to find other sports that suits my height. And so i played table-tennis (ping-pong), darts, billiards, and golf. As a spectator, i love baseball, volleyball and lawn tennis also.

I really have no idea about soccer/football. Even in university intramurals, soccer is the only game i never bother to watch.

When i arrived in Nigeria, the first things that intrigue my sight is the dominating products sold in the stalls -- football jerseys, pennants, banners and stickers. I learned later Africa is a football-crazy continent. And football is the dominant sports here.

So, to be able to adjust to the culture, i have to learn about football -- the teams, the names, histories, and of course, African national teams. So by my second month, i could talk football like a native.

Our client in Nigeria is managed by 4 brothers as directors of the company. One is a fan of Liverpool, two are Man U, the other is Chelsea. And all of them are fanatics, really. One time, one of the brothers came to me and asked me who my team was. i said, ahhm, Chelsea. And the guy just thundered his disapproval. He told me he lost respect for me and he went on to lecture me why i made a bad choice. He said i would be better off with Man U.

After that faux-pas, i decided to select other neutral teams. So i adopted Arsenal for English Premiership, and Real Madrid for UEFA. I even bought pennants to display in my door at the staff house and in my office desk.

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I have read among Filipinos sports pundits that too much basketball is counterproductive to Filipinos because we are naturally short people. They opined that we will have better success in soccer/football and baseball, and attain the same status internationally in these sports as with South Korea and Japan.

Maybe so. In Asian football circuit, we stand a chance. But if it comes to FIFA tournaments, we will still be disadvantaged. Because, the truth is, football is also a tall-man's game. The disadvantage in in height is well-pronounced during running game and crucial headers from a corner kicks. In fact, a goalie must be tall to have a greater reach for bar and post-targeted goals.

But the footballing world is replete with superstar short (by european standard) football players who made their marks on the international scene. We can mention Pele, Maradona and Tevez.

But height is not really a big stumbling block to make it to international scene in soccer-football. Man U, has a Korean player. I think i saw other Koreans and Cinese players in other English teams also.

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You see, there is too much emphasis, and money invested, in basketball. And yet our basketball quality continues to decline each year as our national teams struggled (and lost more often than not) in various international competitions.

Too much fixation in basketball. We have PBA and PBL. Then they have the short-lived MBA. The LGUs initiated their inter-city nationwide tournament called National Basketball Conference (NBC). Aside from that, there is the Visayas-Mindanao LGU tournaments (MVBA) also.

We should consider introducing vigorously soccer, baseball and volleyball down to grassroots level and set up local, provincial, regional and national tournament all-year round. We should make our Filipino athletes as multi-sports athletes. Schools should emphasize on promoting

Why can't they make a schedule that during HS and Collegiate basketball season break, the players can move to volleyball or track and field tournaments?.

I remember watching High School musical in DSTV. During football season break, the football varsity players moved to basketball tournament. I assume some of them will also play for the baseball varsity.

So far, aside from basketball, only volleyball women has as much attention as basketball. Only because we loved the sight of the tight uniforms that players wear, and because they got a solid sponsor (Nestea), and, these girls do not play basketball.

Other games

Other games are played based on social status. That is, you have a well-funded golf tournament from Juniors to Senior amateurs. On the other hand, you have the 'tambay' sports like billiards and boxing, which has given us more international honors than basketball.

Summer Open Lawn Tennis tournament for juniors used to be sponsored by Milo. I think. Alas, lawn tennis is an 'elitista' game nowadays. Very few (i know one) promising young players who are not well-off or well-connected get to see international action because they can't get sponsorship. One of the most promising lawn tennis junior player i knew, who hails from Cagayan de Oro, almost did not make it to one Asian tournament. I heard his mother and coach were frantically looking and begging for sponsors. When the lad finally got sponsors, he did not disappoint them by eventually winning the said tournament. If only our sports association will acknowledge this young man's skills, he could be a regular campaigner in international circuit. And who knows, he can be budding Mamiit later on.

Chess is also an under-rated sports in our country. But it is one of those sports, aside from boxing and billiards, which gives us tremendous international honors, from the elder Eugene Torre to the young wizard, Wesley So. And we should continue to promote chess tournament in all levels - from elementary to collegiate, in-school and out-of-school. I believe it is easy to promote Chess since it does not require big venues and logistics.

All of these sports, considering their growing popularity, should be given a rotation schedule of tournaments nationwide so that players from other disciplines can also participate. Of course, we need to provide players with financial incentives, other than medals.

Football United

I don't know what happened to the summer Coke Go-for-Goal tournament for high school football teams. That is one tournament that LGUs, POCs and DECS should support and promote. Maybe they can make a national regular tournament out of it.

For example, an inter-High School footbal team tournament, playing for 6-months (24-26 weeks, played every Saturday or Sunday) qualifying games. These games will be played in home and away football grounds. With the schools group in geographical locations. Then the semi-finals will be played either in Vigan, Manila, Bacolod, Cebu or Davao. The finals (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th places) will be timed in summer. Venue can be any from those previously mentioned places. Since we have government-owned (or controlled) radio, TV and print media, these can be utilized to provide live broadcast of the games. Aside from the sponsors's advert.

Commercial Soccer

Soccer is very popular in Ilo-ilo. As it is also in Ozamiz City and Davao City. I think Ilonggos have their own regular soccer tournament involving homegrown football clubs.

There is a website which covers footballing in the Philippines.

http://www.pinoysoccer.com/

There was a 4-team Asian Football Confederation (AFC) Challenge Cup 2008 - Group B qualifiers tournament being held in Barotac, Iloilo last May 2008.
http://pinoysoccer.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_itemId=1310

Photo is that of RP vs Bhutan action during the 2008 AFC Challenge Cup at Barotac Nuevo Sports Plaza in Barotac Nuevo, Iloilo, May 17, 2008. Philippines won the match (3-0) but lost on goal difference to Tajikistan who won against Brunei (4-0), and did not qualify for the Asian Challenge Cup finals set July 30 to August 10 in Hyderabad, India. (Photo by Victor Kintanar for Pinoysoccer.com)

And in case you are not aware, we do have a national soccer team called Team Azkals.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippines_national_football_team

These days, soccer tournament is mostly corporate tournaments. Like this 1st Mizuno Futsal Corporate Cup.

READINGS:

http://www.skysports.com/football/match_commentary/0,19764,11065_2995193,00.html?reloaded
http://www.bleacherreport.com/articles/24641-Manchester-United-vs-Chelsea-1-1-AET-6-5-on-penalties-210508
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/main.jhtml?xml=/sport/football/urowin.xml

Futsal - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
FIFA.com - Futsal - Mission and Goals

Pinoy Soccer:

http://pinoysoccer.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQgUZXBT3uY
http://blogs.pinoysoccer.com/

Team Azkals:

http://philippinefootball.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippines_national_football_team
http://pinoysoccer.com/gallery2/main.php

A Mighty Heart - OFW perspective

I saw the movie 'A Mighty Heart' about the account of Marianne Pearl regarding the kidnapping and killing of her journalist-husband Daniel Pearl in Pakistan.

I would say Angelina Jolie deserves whatever award she got for the role.

But hey, this is not a movie review.

What touch me in the movie is that within the first week that Daniel Pearl has been confirmed kidnapped, the French Embassy (Marriane is French) and American Embassy were all-out in their support to Marianne and in finding Daniel.

The American government provided high-level support also that made it possible for Pakistani police and security services to conduct their massive and effective operations to uncover the people behind Pearl's kidnapping. To think that Pearl is journalist (and a Jew) in a volatile Islamic country.

Now, fast forward.

If Pearl is Filipino, you can be sure that the government would only issue some trite press release about the kidnapping. And when it is over (as in the victim is killed), the government will most likely slap a ban on Pakistan for being a security risk country.

But did US and France put a ban on Pakistan for the incident? Nope. Not even a travel warning, which they casually release against travel to Southern Philippines...

And this is where it is sad to note about the state of government support that we OFWs get when one of us is in distressed. We surely heard about stories on how our own embassy staff or officials are pimping the female OFWs in distressed because their is no official budget for them.

And how emabssy officials tell ME OFWs not to rescue or provide relief to runaway/distressed OFWs so as not to violate the host country's law or offend the employers.

These days, OFWs in Middle East are occupied in their thoughts about the plight of 2 housemaids sentenced to death.

I believe that we should stop deploying domestic help to most Middle East and Arab countries (with the exception of UAE) because of the poor record of their nationals in treating our OFWs there. It is right to slap a TOTAL BAN against Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Egypt and Jordan.

But the same TOTAL BAN on domestic help should be implemented in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar.

Just for a measly 200 dollars a month, they put their lives in jeopardy the moment they leave the Philippines for these countries.

I saw one documentary in Al-Jazeera about how many Sri Lankan maids in Lebanon got killed or committed suicide because of abuses of their employers. But they kept coming. And the NGOs and Christian organizations there are complaining about the lack of action from Lebanese government and Sri Lanka's lack of regulation for the protection of its overseas workers.

Why is the Philippine government not putting a TOTAL BAN against the sending of domestic helpers to these countries???

And so, how many more Filipinos need to die senselessly in these countries in the name of OFW remittance and to escape from abject poverty back home?

I hope we do not forget these fallen OFWs on the 2010.

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http://globalnation.inquirer.net/news/news/view/20080414-130370/OFW-vows-to-take-care-of-3-Filipino-kids-orphaned-in-Kuwait

Whale watching in Nigeria

After year of absence from Lagos, I was finally able to get a re-assignment. And the next thing i planned was to go back to Eleko Beach with my Pinoy colleagues.

I was a bit Eleko-phobic actually, after a bad experience last year. I almost drowned in Eleko beach, after getting trapped in the churning tidal water and being smacked down by giant waves...

This time, i stayed near the shoreline and made sure i have a companion nearby as we dive under the breaking waves.

An after, the entire beach went into a frenzy of fingers pointing into the ocean. At first, i thougt somebody is in distress (drowning). Suddenly in the distance, i saw something black came out of the water, and then a water spout appeared. It's a WHALE!

There were four of them, in pairs. The graceful undulating dives, punctuated with the release of water spout, and the splash of the tail fins really excited all of us.

Beachgoers came out of their cottages and into the water line, hoping for a better view. Digicams and video cams came out and everybody was snapping photos. My colleague also took photos, but forgot to zoom.

The 2 pairs of whales continued their rhythmic passage, seemingly following an unseen lane in the ocean, just on the edge where the shallow shore ends and the deep end starts.

It was not even a close encounter kind of thing, but the experience of seeing whales was really something. My friend joked afterwards that "somebody is going to write a blog about the whales in Eleko beach". Of course, he was refering to me.

Finally, i can relate my brief glimpse of whales to the shows of National Geographic in our DSTV.

The Weakest Link - Philippine edition

For awhile now i have been watching British-edition The Weakest Link with the feisty Ann Robinson at the helm. It is shown in DTSV 3 times a week.

It reminded me of my own experience in Edu Manzano's The Weakest Link. Yes, Virginia, i was able to join TWL in 2003.

I was still in CDO that time and we were call-testing the various gameshow (TWL, GKNB, WW2BAM) landline participation number (i worked in a telecoms company).

Let me digress for awhile. I actually tried for "Who Wants to be a MIllionaire" (WW2BAM) and i was able to get to the second round, only to be trumped. I botched my last opportunity when the call for second question came. You see, the second question is made by a person and not an IVRS, and its a 10-second question. I ran to nearest computer trying to delay the question, telling the lady at the other end like: 'heloooo, a moment, i can't hear you.. heloo, heloooooo..." :-)

It did not work. By the time i reached a computer, it's 5 seconds to go. The question? "How tall is the Leaning Tower of Pisa in feet?". i rush up Google but by the time the info was up, it's 10-seconds gone. wtf!

Anyway, so here comes test call for TWL. Since it was test call, it's free. Normally, it's 10 pesos per minute when you call the game hotline. After three tries, i got a call from TWL telling me i have been selected. Yes! Finally....

I kept the infomation secret from my family and colleagues. I took a leave and went to Manila. TWL paid for my SuperFerry plus taxi. It took me 3 days travel and then off to the TV station (i think it was ABC-5 then). I learned to my annoyance, that i could have asked for a plane ticket instead.

There were twenty of us for the particular episode. I met one guy from CDO. He was browsing on a book about quick facts. Me? stock knowledge lang po.

Well, we were told only 8 will be selected. So in a small studio, we played a quick version of TWL conducted by the screening staff. We were divided into 2 groups, 10 per group and the last 4 standing will go into the final round.

First 10 went and 4 came out. Then our group was next. The CDO guy was with me.

The elimination was simple. The questions were the ones already asked on previous episodes on TV. So the person who watched TWL regularly will know it -- and that's the case for me. We eliminated the weakest link of course, and the CDO guy was the first out. Obviously, he was not regulary watching the shows since he failed to answer almost all question thrown at him.

In short, I survived the elimination. And together with seven other survivors, we were processed and given ID cards and meal stubs for hotel. The once who did not make it?? bahala na daw sila saan sila matutulog, bcoz TWL will only shoulder travel expenses (2-way) but not for their accommodation should they fail the elims. Crap...

So we went to Bayview Hotel and we got to know each other. Our group (Me, Veronica, Jean, Rommel) was especially close-knit and we came up with a strategy: Vote all the 4 persons ( from the other group, whether it's one of us who is the weakest link in the round. As for the 4 us, it will be the weakest link basis -- daw.

Taping day

We were taken to a converted warehouse in Paranaque. That's the TWL taping studio. After the makeup and the briefing, Edu Manzano came to give us some pep-talk and wished us good luck.

We were suppose to start at 8am, but bcoz of some technical glitz, the taping started late in the afternoon.

And so there i was. Finally on the podium number 2 on the left of your TV screen.

So the player position was like this:

P1 - Veronica
P2 - Maynard
P3 - Jean
P4 - Rommel
P5 - Nato
P6 - Edwin
P7 - Marc
P8 - Kim

From P1 to P4 is our group.

First round

Kim was the obvious weakest link in that round. So it was all unanimous in disposing him

Second Round

It was Veronica who was the weakest link, but 4 of us voted for Marc since he failed to answer a few questions also. Nato and Edwin voted for Veronica.

Third Round

It was Nato who was the weakest link. So 4 votes plus Edwin voted Nato out.

Fourth Round

Veronica was again weakest link. But 4 votes went to Edwin. Edwin voted for Veronica.

Fifth Round

Jean was the weakest link. Veronica and Me voted Jean. Jean voted for me. Rommel voted for Veronica.

Sixth Round

Only 3 of us left. Rommel was weakest link. When the voting came out - there was 3-WAY TIE!!! Rommel voted for Veronica. Me voted for Rommel. Veronica voted for me.

As usual, in case of tie, the strongest link in that round will break the tie -- and it was VERONICA. I felt being slapped in the face. Ask by Edu "why Maynard?", she said because i was a threat to her. Biatch!

I didn't see it coming. But, i was the weakest link. Goodbye.

Pot money: 92,000 pesos.

Seventh Round

It's suppose to be a "triple-your-money" round. But Rommel and Veronica were not able to bank any amount.

Final Round

Eventually, Rommel won the final round 2-1 to take home 92,000 pesos. The winning question was "What is the capital of Eastern Samar?"

In my post-game interview, i said on TV i felt bad not having analyzed the situation. And to think that I 'thought' Veronica and i had an agreement we will see each other at the final round.

Women....